Mammalian brain · Relational Manipulation
Shame and Blame
Highlighting someone's flaws, publicly or privately, to lower their standing and make compliance the way back to acceptance.
An everyday example
A partner who criticises your competence in front of clients, then offers to 'handle it' for a bigger share.
What it can cost you
Conceding to escape shame; being made small so you accept less.
Warning signs
- I feel small and want to fix it by agreeing.
- The criticism arrived with the request.
One thing to do
Refuse to negotiate while being shamed: name it, end the session, resume in writing.
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